Black Eyed Pete’s Official Portrait

 

You should see the other guy.

blackeyed-pete's-680Kent­field, Cal­i­for­nia – Feb­ru­ary 2010

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Jury Duty Cancelled

I got the bad news late Thurs­day after­noon:  my jury duty has ended, jury duty for Jan­u­ary 29th has been can­celled — appar­ently because of lack of interest.

I con­sider this can­cel­la­tion bad news because it denies me the oppor­tu­nity to demon­strate the Big Three ways to get out of jury duty:

  • wear a full beard,
  • flaunt your edu­ca­tion (espe­cially advanced degrees)
  • dress for gardening.

Juries called for the begin­ning of the week, Mon­days or Tues­days have a high prob­a­bil­ity of being seated.  Juries called to appear near the end of the week, espe­cially Fri­days, have a high prob­a­bil­ity of being can­celled — as mine was (Fri­day Jan­u­ary 29th).

But, cheer-up, there’s always next year (actu­ally not always).

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171 Ways to Avoid Jury Duty

Jury Sum­mons from Marin County Supe­rior Court to Me,

Report Date: Jan 29, 2010

How can you get out of jury duty?  More urgently, how can I get out of jury duty?

Let me count the ways:

  • I asked Google how to get out of jury duty and its first page of search results returned arti­cles lay­ing out 74 ways.
  • Then I asked Yahoo the same ques­tion, first page results: 38 ways.
  • Bing, same ques­tion: 59 ways.

Add them up:  171 ways.   Who’s got time for 171 ways?  Not me – once I count past sev­en­teen I lose track and have to start over (hey!  that’s num­ber 172).

I’m going with the big three

  1. Wear a beard. You might need to plan four or five months ahead of time – don’t worry, you can get a six month exten­sion over the phone or by e-mail).  Go for a full beard like one of these (L to R):  Lt. Gen (Old Pete) Longstreet CSA. Her­man Melville, John Muir – no sissy goatees).
  2. Get edu­cated, list your col­lege degrees, prefer­ably with an advanced degree or two.
  3. Dress for gar­den­ing.
  4.  

384px-James_Longstreet407px-Herman_Melville_1860 225px-Muir_portrait_1872

Beyond the big three, I have no story and I’m stick­ing to it.

———

Pho­tos from Wikipedia.

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Kindle eBook Pricing Puts Fluffy Ceiling on Book Markets

kindle-300px._V251249390_ I stopped buy­ing new book­shelves in the 1990’s, but I con­tin­ued buy­ing new books.  I had found Ama​zon​.com, where I could sell books (after I read them) for a few dol­lars less than I had paid for them.

Then every­body found out how to do that and they did. 

First, it knocked down the pric­ing of used books.

  • So I bought used books through Ama­zon, read them and sold them on Ama­zon for about what I had paid for them.
  • Then every­body found out how to do that on Ama­zon and they did.  Used book­stores dis­ap­peared from our neighborhoods.

     
  • Pric­ing of new books began to slide with deeper dis­counts. Used book pric­ing on Ama­zon dropped, often below $5, then lower still — 99-cents is not uncommon.

This reduc­tio ad absur­dum on Ama­zon nearly blew away my per­sonal read-and-recycle pro­gram.  Even with ship­ping and han­dling added to the finan­cial cal­cu­la­tion, I couldn’t moti­vate myself to pack-up a book and carry it to the post office for a net gain of small pocket change.   Who is doing that?

The Book Exchange deal:

  • You give them your books for free and you can take as many of their books as you want.
  • They cherry-pick what­ever books they can sell prof­itably on e-Bay and
  • Use the money to run their free facil­ity in Berkeley.

So, I cherry-pick my own books for sale on Ama­zon — although fewer of them make the cut. I put the rest into boxes in my garage.  My New Year’s res­o­lu­tion is to give these unsellable books to the Book Exchange this year.

So, how has Kin­dle begun to play a role in all this?

  • Sim­ply, giant Ama­zon owns the Kin­dle and now actu­ally sells Kin­dle edi­tions of 390,000 titles, mostly at $9.99.
  • When Ama­zon actu­ally sells a lot of Kin­dle books (as they did this Christ­mas), the actual sell­ing price becomes a valid force in the book pub­lish­ing, buy­ing and sell­ing mar­ket place.

New “phys­i­cal” books already feel the Kindle’s pric­ing pres­sure. Where?

  • On Ama­zon of course.
  • One of the top-selling “phys­i­cal” books, “The Lost Sym­bol” by Dan Brown, dis­counted from $29.95 to $12.00, also became the best sell­ing Kin­dle edi­tion at $9.60.
  • At this writ­ing, I can­not find a mean­ing­ful used price — but “The Lost Sym­bol” is clearly headed for a quick trip to the Book Exchange or the Sal­va­tion Army.

Mean­while, Amazon’s Kin­dle Reader is turn­ing my garage into a library.

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Search for 4 Japanese Art Books to Complete Set of 30 (published 1968)

 

Here is a pic­ture of the 26 vol­umes that I’ve accu­mu­lated (Gen­shoku Nihon no Bijutsu) since pub­li­ca­tion for the Meiji Cen­ten­nial in 1968:

japanese-fine-arts-books-we 

The four vol­umes I need to com­plete this set are:

  • 8 Emaki­mono
  • 23 Men to Sho Zo
  • 24
  • 26

Long, long ago, when I was going to school at Sophia Uni­ver­sity in Tokyo, the Mon­busho sub­si­dized pub­li­ca­tion of a 30-volume series (Gen­shoku Nihon no Bijutsu pub by Shogakukan). Many of these were fur­ther dis­counted through the book­stores in Jim­bo­cho, where I picked up about 16 of them. 

Each time I vis­ited Tokyo over the years I went through the Jim­bo­cho book­stores, and finally got up to a total of 27 vol­umes.
One of my wife’s bone-headed friends spoiled No. 8 — so I’m back to 26 books.
Now, I’m look­ing for four non-sequential vol­umes to fill out the set of 30.

By the 1990’s the Jim­bo­cho book­stores seemed to have exhausted their sup­ply of these books.  So, even if I vis­ited Jim­bo­cho today, I doubt that I’d find any of this series at all — and very unlikely to find the 4 vol­umes I am seek­ing to com­plete the set.

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White-Knuckled Leg-Crossing Story

The Deaths of Firenzi

By Peter Neibert

What we have here is a fear-gripping, white-knuckled, leg-crossing story of the Deaths of Firenzi.

The story is here, but the pic­tures aren’t ready yet.

I’m work­ing on that – post them when I get to it.

You can read the story with­out the pic­tures, and no one will care if you move your lips.

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My First Article on Tech​no​rati​.com — Here It Is (sort of):

 

TV Japan Rolls Out Cal­i­for­nia Market

Author: peterneib­ert / Pub­lished: Decem­ber 05, 2009 at 10:52 am

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clip_image003

That’s what it looks like on Tech​no​rati​.com.   Want to see more?  OK, here’s the code they sent me in an auto­mated e-mail, just in case you asked:

TV Japan Rolls Out Cal­i­for­nia Market

If you click on that, you’ll see the real deal on Tech​no​rati​.com.

I was bored and a lit­tle bit sleepy on Thurs­day after­noon, so I decided to go for a walk — out to the mail­box.  There was actu­ally mail in the mail­box, so I picked it up and aban­doned the walk.

Mostly for­get­table junk mail and super­mar­ket ads.  But one had a lot of Japan­ese on the out­side of the enve­lope.  Com­cast was up to some­thing.  It wasn’t addressed to me but I opened it any­way to find they were offer­ing a free trial of Japan­ese lan­guage broad­casts begin­ning Decem­ber 3rd.  A hur­ried inves­ti­ga­tion revealed Thurs­day was in fact Decem­ber 3rd.

  • Damn!  I had already missed most of the first day of the free trial. 
  • To find out what hap­pened next, go to Tech​no​rati​.com.
  • If you do go there, then click on things, Twit­ter retweet, digg, what­ever else you have on your browser.

Social Media Mak­ers of the world wide web will thank you.

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HOLY ALIENS ! — Native American Rock Art

Silent for Thou­sands of Years: Now Chris­tians and Ancient Aliens Speak for Its Soul –


The trail down the West rim of Horse­shoe Canyon, to the floor 750 feet below, is not dif­fi­cult in the cool of early morn­ing.
The Park Ser­vice says to allow 4 to 7 hours for the 6.5 mile round trip to the bot­tom, hike to the Great Gallery and return to the West rim trailhead.

Great-Gallery-about
The Great Gallery is the photographer’s reward.   And The Jour­ney — I’m not sure whose reward that is.

In October-November, 6 or 7 hours is prob­a­bly about right. In June, when we did it, the jour­ney was an entirely dif­fer­ent story.  By the time you get to the floor, you notice the air warm­ing up.  It will go over a hun­dred by lunch time.

Holy Ghost Group, The Great Gallery, Horseshoe Canyon
But you’re not con­cerned about the sun and the heat because you are really deter­mined to cap­ture the Great Gallery and its Holy Ghost (above).

The blue rocks in these pic­tures – where did they come from?  In truth, they are red rocks, but the light reach­ing them is cold, blue.  The light bounc­ing from side to side of this deep, nar­row canyon, is cooled enough to change its tem­per­a­ture from hot at the top to cold at the bot­tom.  Yet in sum­mer day­time, the air down here feels like a furnace.

The main group of char­ac­ters (below) to the right of the Holy Ghost group holds an ethe­real qual­ity.   Per­haps it is the con­se­quence of dif­fer­ent sizes of fig­ures with dif­fer­ent (sur­viv­ing?) sat­u­ra­tion in the rock of the canyon wall.

Great-Gallery-main-group-DC

As you hike from cairn to cairn (it’s a canyon — where else would you go?), you see painted fig­ures on the canyon walls watch­ing you — per­haps 30 to 50 feet above the floor, like this old elk hunter below: elk-hunter-horseshoe-cyn-DC

And this com­pli­cated group­ing (who is doing what to whom?).

horseshoe-cyn-wall-DCP_79-

Q. How did the artists get up there to paint that?

A. The Indian artists prob­a­bly painted at shoul­der height.  Since then, ero­sion has cut the floor down, say 25 to 45 feet – so, if you can guessti­mate the rate of ero­sion at dif­fer­ent points in the canyon, you can play arche­ol­o­gist and guessti­mate the age of the paint­ings and the era when those folks lived down here.

horseshoe-cyn-DCP_083-cy-5 So, how old are these pic­tures? The Park Ser­vice guessti­mates range from 1900 BC to 300 AD.  Some sources say, no, the Great Gallery is prob­a­bly more like 7,000 years ago.

Other paint­ings through­out the canyon were prob­a­bly added more recently, say as recent as 2,000 to 4,000 years ago.  Some depict hunt­ing scenes, some may be memo­ri­al­iz­ing cer­e­mo­nial events, and some may be guardians, placed on the canyon walls to pro­tect it dur­ing the absence of its peo­ple.  In the panel below, some inter­pret the fig­ures on the left as guardians, while oth­ers say, no they are hunters lying in wait for the elk on the right.guardians-detail-horseshoe- Guardians-Horseshoe-cyn-Dcp
Noth­ing is safe from rein­ter­pre­ta­tion in the medium of the day.  At right is a “pho­to­shopped” ver­sion of the guardians shown just above, left.  Does Photoshop’s can­vas tex­ture and other light and color adjust­ments achieve a more “painterly” effect?  Or is it just kitsch in com­par­i­son to the con­ven­tion­ally edited pic­ture above?

Well, to get to the point of inter­pre­ta­tion ver­sus rein­ter­pre­ta­tion, how did the abo­rig­i­nal inhab­i­tants invent the Holy Ghost in his head piece, even before the Judeo-Christian era?  We don’t know whether they did or not.

The Horse­shoe Canyon’s Holy Ghost group has at least five mem­bers with oth­ers close by – hard to rec­on­cile with any trin­ity con­cept.  Yet, the name of the Holy Ghost group was affixed by 19th Cen­tury, European/American vis­i­tors on their own author­ity.  What­ever else you might have to say about the Holy Ghost group in Horse­shoe Canyon,  the name abides into the 21st Cen­tury.
And I thought that was the whole story.

But no, just last month I saw a 2-hour pre­sen­ta­tion of Ancient Aliens on Dis­cov­ery Chan­nel that changes every­thing (it was broad­cast again last night on the His­tory Chan­nel).  Near the begin­ning and near the end­ing was a pic­ture of this Holy Ghost paint­ing in the Great Gallery,  the pre­sen­ta­tion grouped it with many other phe­nom­ena around the world (Pyra­mids, Stone­henge, Easter Island mo’ai and numer­ous Maya and abo­rig­i­nal sites in the Amer­i­cas).  Indeed inter­views within the pre­sen­ta­tion asserted the total­ity of these phe­nom­ena as sci­en­tific, fac­tual evi­dence of the Ancient Aliens who vis­ited earth and then went away into space.  We are to await their return, per­haps soon.  Some UFO buffs say per­haps they are already…
Accord­ing to the Ancient Aliens pre­sen­ta­tion, the Holy Ghost cer­e­mo­nial head­piece, is not that at all.  It is a space hel­met and the squared shoul­ders are fea­tures of his space­suit.
Well, I hate to be taken for such a doo­fus — that I was there, saw the Holy Ghost at arm’s length (no, I did NOT touch it) and failed to rec­og­nize his astro­naut gear.  I went back to my photo files and I didn’t see any of the things that either the Ancient Aliens broad­cast or 19th Cen­tury explor­ers are try­ing to push on us.   What did I see there and in these pictures?

IMHO I saw a very dig­ni­fied and mys­te­ri­ous group­ing, a part of the canyon wall, look­ing down on me.

I clicked my pic­tures, and we started the return trip.  There was no more ignor­ing the heat, and the sun, mov­ing directly over­head, left almost no shade in the canyon.
About a third of the way back, we came to the Great Alcove. An enor­mous cave-like amphithe­atre, nat­u­rally hol­lowed out of the stone wall of the canyon.  In this shade we ate, napped, and looked at the walls inside the alcove: more ancient paint­ings,  but also graf­fiti.  19th cen­tury tourists  carved their names into the ancient rock paint­ings.
How­ever, since the tags are 19th cen­tury arti­facts they are also pro­tected prop­erty of the United States.  You can see one at the bot­tom left of this pho­to­graph of a pro­ces­sion on the Great Alcove wall:

procesion-alcove-HorseshoeD

You’d think that hang­ing out in a cave for three or four hours would be enough for the canyon to cool down.
Not really.
Climb­ing back up 750 feet in the heat of the late after­noon sun in June must be some­thing of an accom­plish­ment.
Horse Trail to east rim and Hans FlatAfter I got down to the canyon floor I learned there is an eas­ier entrance from the East rim of the canyon.  You need a 4-wheel-drive vehi­cle to get there.
But get this:  I was dri­ving a 4-wheel-drive jeep, and of course it was parked atop the West rim.   Gotta climb up the West rim – sun baked and much steeper going up in the after­noon than it was com­ing down in the cool of the morning.

Only a doofus…

Next time, from the East rim, new cam­era for new pic­tures of the Great Gallery.  Who would like to carry my tripod?

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Cathedral Valley and Blood River

Cathe­dral Val­ley is noted in dusty guide­books for its soli­tude, because nobody goes there.
Well, almost nobody.  I went there once.   I haven’t gone back. 

temple-of-the sun-cathedral-valley

Why?  Prob­a­bly because its in a tough neigh­bor­hood:  too much com­pe­ti­tion from the Great Circle’s nearby (in Red Rock Coun­try reck­on­ing) Horse­shoe Canyon, Canyonland’s Maze and the Golden Stair­case, and Capi­tol Reef’s own canyons, the Water­pocket Fold and the ghosts of Butch Cas­sidy and the Wild Bunch.

What we have here is a monot­o­nous, back­coun­try desert of gyp­sum clay, with a slip­pery 4WD track that even­tu­ally leads you to a range of red rock cliffs. Near their foot are some tall, free­stand­ing sand­stone obelisks, resem­bling cathe­drals.  In the mid-day sun the sim­i­lar­ity may not be too striking.

 
Take pho­tos in early morn­ing or late after­noon when strong shad­ows are at play — inter­est­ing pos­si­bil­i­ties for black and white pho­tog­ra­phy.  In either case (dig­i­tal or BW) you need to arrive in the after­noon, set-up camp away from the tem­ples (pho­tographs includ­ing your own tent are un-cool).
Then scout out the tem­ples with an eye to the after­noon sun and set-up your tri­pod position(s) accord­ingly — fol­low the inter­play of light and shad­ows on the obelisks as the sun goes down.
When the evening light finally fades, decide where to set-up your equip­ment for the morn­ing light.  If you’re dis­ap­pointed in the results of the late after­noon shots, you have another chance com­ing in the morn­ing.  You might pre­fer just to pack-up and go, but it is too dan­ger­ous to move around at night.  You’re stuck until morn­ing whether you like it or not, so you might as well con­cen­trate your thoughts on get­ting the best out of the morn­ing light.

temple-of the-moon-cathedral-valley

 

To travel into the gyp­sum clay desert means that you’re going to get really close to soli­tude.  Also, you’re going to use at least a day and a half of trip time that you could be spend­ing in Horse­shoe Canyon, the Maze, et al. 

It doesn’t rain there often but when it does, the clay becomes impass­able, and you can eas­ily lose a cou­ple of days get­ting out.

When the rain water rages down through the canyons from the west, it car­ries red silt into the Fre­mont River (along  High­way 24, the south­ern edge of the desert).  With the sun behind it, the river boils blood red.
Cor­mac McCarthy wrote about a river like this in “Blood Merid­ian,” but I didn’t believe in the image until I saw the Fre­mont River turn to blood.

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Desert Shades: Vermilion Cliffs & Chinle Badlands of the Escalante

Spend a month here, an hour at a time.  

Morn­ing light, mid­day sun and the sun­down hour change the col­ors and shapes sur­round­ing you in this eroded and haunt­ing wilderness.

Take High­way 89 to Big Water and turn right:  the road into these Escalante bad­lands is not marked but it’s the only one.  It runs ENE along the cliffs at a dis­tance of a mile or so.

Occa­sion­ally, the dirt road jogs around large boul­ders that broke away from the cliffs and tum­bled out to where you are now.

Go there in the early morn­ing.  The ris­ing sun finds shad­ows among the blue seamed cliff faces and the chinle mounds.

Monks” is one of those scenes — cap­tured one early morn­ing in the month of May.

Below-Kaiparowits-1-Monks 

As the cliffs turn, fac­ing the sun­rise, direct light out­lines sharper shapes and brighter col­ors, even yel­low desert flow­ers– as below,  shad­ows call­ing to mind the F-117, “Stealthfighters.”

Below-Kaiparowits-3-Stealth

Car­bon­ates in leached clay show a strong green cast in the morn­ing light, below,“Peek.”

Below-Kaiparowits-2-Peep

 

Col­ors in the same clay change in the mid­day sun, like that in the“Moby Dick” pho­tographed on a July afternoon.

mobydick14web

Late after­noon col­ors emerge in the rocks, even as you see the rocks break through the sur­face, poised in “Attack.”

Escalante_RagingSilence_DSCN1133

Toward sun­set the golden hour reveals even more sub­tle col­ors in the rocks and clays of the turn­ing point.

DSCN1143-copy2flat

 
These are the lower cliffs of the bad­lands below the Kaiparow­its Plateau.  

Below-Kaiparowits-5-Endgame

If you get here from any­where in time for sun­rise, you will need to hang­out in 100F heat for about 15 hours — when the col­ors are least inter­est­ing.  Or you can go on.
Don’t try to climb the cliffs or you risk land­ing under a rock slide — and become another ghost of the Escalante.

DSCN1140-copyflat

  
There are two roads up to the Kaiparow­its Plateau.  One is mostly nar­row switch­backs cut into the sheer face of the 1500-foot Ver­mil­ion cliff. 

Scary ride, but no one else is there.  I have the Escalante to myself.
When I look over the side, ghosts are waiting.

DSCN1145-copy2

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Edit Blog Photos in WordPress Draft – Hint: Use Windows Live Writer

San Francisco Ferry Terminal, morning exercise. If you use pho­tos in your blogs, you need Win­dows Live Writer (com­bined text edi­tor and photo edi­tor for blogs) — keep reading.

If you use a Mac for blog­ging, it won’t work for you, stop reading.

What can you say about a text edi­tor?  It edits text, sure enough, and it’s free, Oh, boy!  But you can say the same about many other text editors.

But Wait!  An inte­grated photo edi­tor that’s free, easy to use and cus­tomizes high qual­ity pic­tures for the blogger’s medium – well, that’s almost enough to make invet­er­ate Microsoft-haters stop hat­ing Microsoft (OK, nothing’s that good).

But Live Writer is so good, you can stop using Pho­to­shop to edit pic­tures for your blog posts.

Anath­ema, you say?  Well, Ha!

Yes, you can work from jpg’s never touched by Pho­to­shop.  The pic­ture edit­ing com­mands in Live Writer (they appear on the right side when you click on an image in your post) are intu­itively obvi­ous.  You can

  • change how text wraps around a picture
  • change mar­gins and bor­ders (for the pic­tures in this post I used a 1 pixel line, but there are other bor­ders avail­able with a sin­gle click, includ­ing the kitschy drop shadow, if that fits your taste).
  • resize and crop (in this post, I  dupli­cated the main photo below and cropped from it the square image now at the top left – first time through the pro­ce­dure took me about a minute, sec­ond time I needed less than 20 sec­onds, includ­ing place­ment in the post).
  • adjust a picture’s bright­ness and con­trast (oops – this really is anath­ema to Pho­to­shop users, and I could not steel my sen­si­bil­i­ties to use it).  If you have a really bad pic­ture that you really must pub­lish, then fix it in Pho­to­shop with lev­els and curves.
  • And then it has a bunch of sim­pli­fied Pho­to­shop like effects e.g. con­vert color photo to black and white or sepia, sharpen or add gauss­ian blur, adjust tem­per­a­ture – good stuff like that.
    The photo below is enlarged in Win­dows Live Writer beyond its orig­i­nal size on my .

Man Rising, San Francisco Ferry Terminal, Bay Bridge in background.

If you right click on either of the images, you can see and read their Alt Text, which is read­ily facil­i­tated by Win­dows Live Writer. Search engine crawlers read Alt Text; thus, it often affects the post’s SEO rank­ing and retrieval.

Live Writer seems to work as well with Fire­fox as with Microsoft Inter­net Explorer. It is also said to work with many other blog­ging plat­forms, Mov­able Type, Blog­ger, and the like.

And, yes, it’s free.

Peter Neib­ert

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Bird Blog for Bob

Boss Bird Monitors Labor Operations

Boss Bird Mon­i­tors Labor Operations


“Call me Bob,” said Bob, rest­ing on the stern rail beside me.
“Hello, Bob,” I said, as more seag­ulls began to gather in the aft wind above us.
“Did you ever won­der how some of the birds fol­low a ferry boat, like this, while oth­ers go after some other boat out on the bay?“
“Well, uh, I sup­pose I might have,” I lied, glanc­ing side­ways at Bob.
“Shape up meet­ing.“
“Shape up meeting?”

That’s what I said,” said Bob. “Shape up meet­ing — every morn­ing. Down at the garbage pier. The Boss Bird shapes up the bird crews, calls out assign­ments. ‘Lis­ten up! Take your gang of Cal­i­for­nia Gulls and fol­low the red and white tug.
’West­ern Gulls fol­low the blue and gold tour boat’…
and so on…”

Wait a minute,” I said, “you almost never see a gang of purely Cal­i­for­nia Gulls or one of purely West­ern Gulls — there’s always some kind of a mix, Cal­i­for­nia, West­ern, even a Laugh­ing Gull or two…“
“Well,” said Bob, “I didn’t say they always get it right,”

Hmmm. Stands to reason.

Bob con­tin­ued, “They’re just like us.“
“How do you know?” I asked.
“Come on: How else would you do it?”

Assigned Seagulls Follow Ferry Boat on San Francisco Bay

Assigned Seag­ulls Fol­low Ferry Boat on San Fran­cisco Bay

Atten­tive Reader: What does Bob look like?

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In Memoriam: Shoe Tree for George Carlin

Jesus is coming, look busy.

I felt bad
Because I had no shoes,
Until I met a man
Who had no feet –
So, I took his shoes
And now I feel bet­ter.

– George Carlin

Shoe Tree for George Carlin

Shoe Tree for George Carlin

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I Track Bruce Berger on the Amazon Trail — What?

A Walk in the Park

A Walk in the Park: Arches National Park, Moab

Bruce Berger’s The Telling Dis­tance, essays on feel­ing the deserts of Sonora and the Col­orado Plateau made me won­der What’s he doing now?
Still writ­ing?
What?

So I Googled “bruce berger” and found his web­site, Bruce​Berger​.net — full of desert sto­ries, essays and pic­tures. I thought Let’s see what they cost now at Ama​zon​.com: most of Berger’s “new” books were dis­counted deeply by Ama­zon, and also, there was a but­ton for “used” books writ­ten by him priced from a penny each plus ship­ping and handling.

Well, impulse made me do it — I bought one for a penny plus shipping/handling for $3.99.
Imme­di­ately I felt this is no good: I’m screw­ing over Bruce Berger, great man of desert con­ser­va­tion.
And then I got the e-mail con­fir­ma­tion from Ama­zon. It iden­ti­fied the seller of record, ship­per and han­dler is actu­ally Good­will Indus­tries of San Francisco.

So what’s my question?.

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Dead Dog Blog

Rocky - Senior Dog

Rocky — Senior Dog

I am Rocky. I’ve always been Rocky, and I don’t know where this “Senior Dog” thing comes from.
It’s been three years since I moved onto the Big Dog­house in the Sky.
No sooner was I out of the house than those peo­ple began call­ing me dif­fer­ent things.
Things like Rocky Senior, Old Rocky and even Dead Rocky — and worst of all, Rocky1.
Where did that come from?
Well, yes, they went out and bought (with money) a new dog that was sup­posed to look like me. Of course it didn’t, not a bit. It was a tiny puppy, golden retriever — but money doesn’t get you very much. It was really really tiny. And it didn’t act like me either: wouldn’t go upstairs, chewed on fur­ni­ture and shit all over the house — ok, maybe I did that… And that.

But get this: they named it Rocky2.

Wouldn’t even go upstairs and yet they named it after me. I used to go upstairs, even tripped the old man down the stairs and broke his leg. Remem­ber that?  GOTCHA!
After that, they threat­ened to send me to dog school.

The ignominy.

Me, Posing in the Living Room for the camera thing

Me, Pos­ing in the Liv­ing Room for the cam­era thing

They sent Rocky2 to dog school. Oh, yeah, he’s sup­posed to be my Replace­ment Dog, but even after three years he’s still smaller than I used to be.  There is no replace­ment for me.
A word of advice from the old dog: when you get to be four­teen years old, you’re feel­ing the punies and they want to take you to the vet, DON’T GO.

Your ashes will come back in a box, and they won’t know what to do with it. So, even three years later, it will just sit there on the chest in the liv­ing room.

GOTCHA!

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